


Devil's Bliss

by redfenix



Category: X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Heavy Angst, Near Death, Oral Sex, POV Female Character, POV First Person, angsty sex, redshipper
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-05-27
Updated: 2009-05-27
Packaged: 2019-08-08 04:04:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16422077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redfenix/pseuds/redfenix





	Devil's Bliss

There is a darkness that seeps through my bones. It soaks the marrow and pulses with a life all its own. A life that I can feel consuming me with each slowly passing second. I fought against it at first; battling with such verve and confidence that I was certain I would die from exhaustion in the effort instead. Death eluded me, turning up its nose with a hearty ‘fuck you’ that couldn’t be ignored. 

Death wants me, but on its own terms. 

That death and darkness found me just five days ago. Five days that now seemed to be the longest of my relatively short life. Despite my utter surrender to the eventual inevitability that the darkness would rule over me, I still fought with it. Vowing that I wouldn’t allow the dark to take over that easily. It was going to have to dig in and work in order to get what it wanted. 

Logan had refused to bring me here at first, to this cave somewhere in a southwestern desert, in an area known as Devil’s Bliss. It was one of the most remote locations I could find on the map. The further I was away from others, the better. He had insisted there had to be some other way, something else that could be tried. I had taken my time to carefully explain the very slim options I was presented with, all the while subjected to his rage and temper as he wasn’t ready to accept the news that I was coming here to die. 

To surrender to the power raging inside me.

I could only take so much before the madness took hold. Before I lashed out and killed everyone I loved. I couldn't allow that to happen.

Logan had reluctantly relented, finally understanding me; that when I said that if I was going to die, I was going to do it by my own terms. While it probably would have been ideal that I face my inner demons alone, I was glad for the company. Out of everyone, Logan was the one I trusted the most. I didn’t always agree with his tactics, with his very cynical view of the world, but he was certainly one individual you’d want loyalty from. Logan wasn’t going to just hand it to you on a silver platter. With him, you were going to have to work for it. That was only one of many endearing qualities about him, though I would never tell that to him. We didn’t share a confiding secrets type of relationship. 

He shifted in his sleep, turning over on his back as he tried to find a comfortable position. I was surprised he was sleeping at all, considering the nightmares he used to tell me about. He had been spending time with the professor, working on unlocking pieces of himself buried somewhere deep. Those sessions usually lasted a few hours and seemed to leave Logan more frustrated and confused. Often, he would disappear for a few days following, using the time alone however he thought would help him recover. 

Prior to one of those sessions, the professor had been called away unexpectedly and I had been able to see the disappointment clearly on Logan’s face. As much as they discouraged him, they also brought him hope as well. I volunteered to step in while the professor was gone, saying that perhaps I could bring a fresh perspective to the work. It was during that session, through the telepathic connection, that I learned about Logan, his life and loves before he had been taken by the program that had given him the metal lacing his bones.

Lost in helping Logan, I'd found the darkness inside me. I had been drawn to it immediately. Gone with reckless abandon. Acknowledging its existence had been greedy and was the beginning of the end for me. 

Logan, sensing the trouble, had severed the psychic connection between us, but it had been too late. The thing hidden deep inside me had swept through the small opening available to it, hungry for more of the taste it had received. I woke up three days later in the lab, an entity inside of me demanding surrender. 

“Keep sighing like that, Red, and I’m going to have to get offended.” 

I smiled a little at his attempt at humor but said nothing more as I shifted against the rock wall. The oddly shaped rocks that hadn’t yet been eroded by time cut into the skin of my back through the thin tee I was wearing. The air smelled damp, the stagnant atmosphere chilly, but oddly enough, I was still warm. 

Logan tipped back the wide brimmed cowboy hat he used to cover his eyes while he rested and pushed himself up to sit. Exhaustion hung heavy on his face, darkening the skin under his eyes. There hadn’t been much sleep for either of us lately. I felt like I couldn’t be bothered to waste the time to close my eyes for any length of time. Logan hadn’t because he had some sense of nobility and felt he should stay awake with me.

See what I mean about that whole endearing deal? 

I was counting on that quality to help me with the plan that formed in my mind while he slept. It wasn’t the most advantageous of prospects but sitting around in this cave wasn’t going to get me anywhere. Since he was awake, I decided to set my plan into motion by doing something completely uncharacteristic and unexpected. I shifted, pushing myself away from the rough rock wall behind me. His brown eyes watched me as I crawled onto his lap and settled myself on the top of jean clad thighs. Confusion passed through his irises as I sat there and at this close proximity, I saw gold flecks break up the solid brown shade. 

“I need you to do something for me, Logan. Something that I’m not sure anyone else would be willing to follow through with.” He waited while I paused, letting me gather up my courage to make myself say what I had been planning. “Kill me, please,” I added in a rush, threading desperation into my voice because I knew I couldn’t keep up this fight any longer. 

He stared at me, unblinking, and he seemed unsure if he had heard me correctly. “Don’t ask me that,” he said coolly when he realized that he had indeed heard my words as he thought. I reached down to take his hand, pressing his closed fist against my chest, just under the curve of my breasts, where my heart beat steadily under my rib cage. My gaze met his as I gently stroked my fingers over his knuckles and felt the faint ridges of the unbreakable metal that lay under his skin. 

“I could make you do it, you know,” I said quietly, running my nail over the hard edge under his skin, down the back of his hand and up his forearm for the length of the blade. I expected the muscles under my hands to go rigid in protest, but instead he relaxed. 

“You could,” he said almost nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulders. “But you won’t.” 

Right now, he was right, I wouldn’t. The thought had been silly and nothing more than a pipe dream. It was also very wrong to ask such a thing of him. He was here to help me, but not to that sort of capacity. I released his hand with a heavy sigh, disgusted with myself over the whole situation. Maybe this hadn’t been such a good idea after all. It had been an insane idea to begin with and I don’t know what had driven me to expect him to agree. 

It was utterly absurd. 

As I shifted to move off Logan’s lap, his hands clasped around both of my wrists. I started to protest but his stern look had me biting back the words. We sat that way for a while until he was sure I wouldn’t move when he removed his hands. Those same hands shifted to my hips, cradling the curve of them almost gingerly. Despite his gentle touch, his muscles were tense like he was ready to react in a split second if something should happen. 

“Logan, I –“ 

“If you’re going to apologize for mixing me up in this, save it.” 

I heard the annoyance in his voice, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me. “But –“ 

“If anything,” he interrupted, giving me a sharp squeeze with his hands to quiet me. “I’m the one responsible for this all.” 

My hair shifted around my shoulders as I shook my head. He really didn’t understand all of this, did he? He was about as far away from the truth as you could get. “No, not really.” 

“How do you figure?” 

There was something that I hadn’t told anyone, not even the professor who guided both the students and staff at the school. I had always felt that my problems were my own; someone else shouldn’t have to solve them for me. “Something was already off well before I landed in the lab at the mansion. Headaches so bad that I can’t see sometimes.” 

“And you didn’t tell anyone?” There was genuine concern in his voice, mixed with a reprimand for already knowing what I was going to say when I had hesitated. 

I confirmed his suspicions with a quick nod. “Since I’m confessing things, might as well go for broke. I woke up a few weeks back and everything in my room was a few inches off the surface it was sitting on. Hell, I was too.” I gave a short, sharp laugh then looked at him with surprise when the sound resembled someone on the leading edges of hysteria. 

His fingers tightened, digging a little into the skin of my hips through my shorts and he pulled, tugging me closer. 

“Want to hear a confession of my own?” The shade of his eyes altered, darkening far more than anything I had ever seen. I had spent enough time around Logan to see him in the grips of a full berserker rage but this was nothing like that, nothing like I’d even experienced around him. With sudden clarity, I realized why I had never seen him like this. These were new emotions that he hadn’t allowed anyone to see. Ones that he kept tightly guarded. 

Want. 

Need. 

Both of them for me. 

A flood of arousal swept through me as the stirrings of various feelings I had buried for Logan rose to the surface. I had always dismissed them as nothing more than the good girl being drawn to someone who bucked authority. Someone who went their own way because it was the polar opposite to my own tendencies. Maybe that’s what this was about but I realized that it didn’t really matter. 

My death was inevitable because I was only so strong. Why couldn’t I let feelings rise to the surface? I didn’t want to ask myself why, at this moment, during a time when I was doing nothing more than wallowing. I had never before done anything selfish so why the hell couldn’t I find out what it was like? I was allowed to enjoy myself for just a few moments, wasn’t I? 

I easily answered those questions but knew, as well, that there was more at stake here. I started to say something but one side of his mouth quirked up in a lopsided grin  that undid me. I laid my hand against his chest, my thumb gently tracing the outline of his pectoral muscles through his thin shirt. His eyes fluttered closed for a few seconds at the touch and when I looked again as he opened them, I saw they were clouded and slightly unfocused. 

“You don’t realize how hard it’s been to be around you each and every day and not think about this.” 

I briefly wondered how long Logan had felt this way about me. “Something tells me you’re a man with a healthy sexual appetites who spends time thinking of nothing but this,” I teased, dragging a single finger down the ridge of his abdomen. 

He flinched slightly as my hand pulled at the edge of his shirt and I slid my hand under the fabric to find warm skin. I let out a satisfied sigh as my hand molded to his waist. He chuckled a bit as I tickled him and he pulled me closer, fitting my sitting form against his lap a bit tighter. I lifted my arms so I could cradle his shoulders and rested my forehead against his shoulder. This close smelled the scent of him. The dampness of the cave mingled with the scent of the soap he had used the last time he washed. Underneath it all was the heady scent of arousal, one I immediately identified as his alone and would never be able to forget. 

I figured now was my time to try and apologize for this whole debacle. “I am truly sorry to drag you into this, Logan. You didn’t have to come with me.” 

“Reminding me of your mortality isn’t exactly the best of things to talk about right now, Jeannie.” His voice was muffled against my shoulder. 

“I know. I just, I felt like I needed to say it.” I lifted my head but kept my arms around him, as if I were using him as an anchor. In some way, I probably was. “By all rights, I should have come here alone, just let you tell me the way.” 

“No one should have to die alone.” 

His words surprised me, especially with his regeneration abilities that kept him living an extended life. “Does that include you? You’ll outlive us all.” 

He paused, seemingly mulling over what he was going to say before he spoke. “While that’s true, I’m not completely immune to the effects of death. I die a little each time someone close to me passes on.” 

“Everyone?” I was scared to assume so I asked the obvious question even though I thought it foolish. “Will you do that for me?” 

He paused again and I pushed away, sitting up fully so I could see his face. “Probably more so.” His expression said he was telling the truth. As if there were doubt that he would lie – not about something like this. It wasn’t in Logan to do something like that. 

His face tilted towards mine, our mouths meeting in a gentle kiss. It wasn’t something that I expected from Logan as far as first kisses went. He walked around with the air about him that hinted he was always on the barest edge of out of control and I suppose I had expected him to kiss the same way. Not that I was complaining, because this felt like something I had always longed for. That someone would kiss me with such passion and emotion that it went beyond anything a frantic mating could provide. That was a quick punch then it was over. No, this was something else entirely. This was Logan, raw and exposed. So open to me that I saw pieces of him that no one ever thought to realize existed. 

His kiss grew more urgent, more insistent and I easily responded in kind, shifting so that I instinctively pressed my pelvis down with some force. His hands circled my waist to lift me up a few inches while he moved from under me. I started to pull away, shift myself back from him but he slid his hands around to the backs of my thighs, pulling my legs tight against him so they bracketed his hips. With a graceful elegance I hadn’t expected he had shifted our positions so that he hovered over me. 

Succumbing to the warmth that was beginning to burn low in my abdomen, I moved my hand down to the edge of his tee, trailing my fingers under the waistband of his jeans. The movement caused my nails to scrape gently against the head of his erect penis and a low, surrendering groan vibrated in his throat. The noise caused something inside me to rise to the surface and for a second, I panicked. He sensed the hesitation and broke the kiss, worry causing a few lines of concern to wrinkle his forehead. 

I expected the entity inside me to embrace these feelings and emotions, feed off them so they could be used to its advantage, but it seemed as if it were quiet for the moment. The something I felt wasn’t the darkness hidden inside me wanting more. It was simply my longing for Logan. 

“I’m okay,” I said quietly, cupping my hands around the back of his neck and smiling at the feel of his hair through my fingers. 

He seemed unconvinced, so I locked my ankles together around his waist, ensuring that he couldn’t move away. Even though he was still wearing his jeans, I felt the length of his cock pressing firmly against me and I sighed out softly at the sensation. 

He grunted softly in response, inhaling deeply and seemingly savoring whatever he had picked up on. “Guess so.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked. 

That lopsided grin was back, this time paired with a mischievous gleam in his eyes. “Heightened senses. You’re pheromones are kicking into overdrive right about now. Whole damn cave smells like you.” 

He nearly growled out the last words and I stared at him, amazed. “Oh.” 

“I didn’t say it was a bad thing.” His mouth pressed down against mine but this time there was nothing gentle about it. Like flicking a switch, Logan had altered the mood to something different. The rawness was something more. Something unrefined and visceral. The taste of him filled my mouth and suddenly, I wanted more. I wasn’t content to just simply feel his skin against mine, his mouth pressed against mine. I wanted him inside me, filling me so completely that I forgot about everything but him. 

There was a faint sound of fabric ripping and I a chill slid over my skin. When his hands cup my breasts through the thin, lacy fabric of my bra, I realized the noise had been my shirt. The thought sent a slap of excitement through me and fueled by that, my hands dove between us. As his thumbs grazed over the hard peaks of my nipples, my fingers made quick work of the button fly to his jeans. His mouth curved against mine as I bypassed the most obvious target and slid my hands around to the curve of his ass. I molded my own hands to his skin, loving the feel of that part of him in my cupped fingers. 

Still, it wasn’t enough. 

I pushed his hands out of the way and used my shoulder to force him back onto his knees. I made quick work of the tattered remains of my shirt, hooking a finger under the clasp of my bra. I had barely gotten it off when I reached for his shirt, sweeping it over his head in one quick maneuver. I had seen Logan plenty of times without his shirt. We lived in the same house, swam in the same pool each summer and even worked out in the same gym. However, there was something different. Something else I saw as my eyes raked over his bare torso, down to the gaping opening I had made by unhooking the buttons of his jeans. 

Possession. 

An image formed in my mind, clear and concise. I saw myself lying here, Logan over me. Both of us were naked and in the full throes of what could only be described as frenzied fucking. I could very nearly taste him in my mouth as I watched my teeth bite into his shoulder as my body went rigid with pleasure. 

Logan, the one physically here in the cave with me, jolted, his hand going down to the ground for support as he wavered on his knees. 

“Holy shit,” he swore breathlessly, clearly taken aback. I couldn’t explain what had just happened, why he evidently saw what I had been thinking, but I didn’t care. 

He didn’t seem to either as the next moment he pounced and was on top of me, tugging at the waistband of my shorts. Seemingly just as desperate as I was to emulate the images we had both just seen. He grumbled in frustration when my shorts wouldn’t move fast enough for his satisfaction and I expected him to treat them in the same manner as my shirt. He surprised me however when his mouth moved from mine as he rose back to his knees again. He tugged at the shorts with more force, tossing them to the side without care. 

I moved to reach for him to make the same efficient work of his jeans, but he put a steadying hand on my abdomen to push me back to the ground. The question I was preparing to ask him died on my lips when he leaned forward to slide between my legs and then trailed the flat of his tongue on a lazy journey over my clitoris. I gasped out as a flash of heat ignited inside me and had arousal spiking into overdrive that I seemed powerless to stop. 

My breath hitched as his tongue laved over me, not content to simply have a swift sample and then move on. There was nothing quick here, instead he used his tongue and mouth to tease and send a clearly unmistakable message that he intended to fully taste me. My fingers threaded through his hair, encouraging him though I seriously doubted any was needed. Never, at any point in my life, had anyone ever made me feel this way. Made me this powerless against the swelling tide rising within me. 

I opened more to him, offering myself as my breath came out in short pants while I tried to find my bearings. I couldn’t help but turn my focus inward, caught up in the rush screaming for release. Revel in the flash of intense heat that was burning my veins with fire as it tore through me as he licked and sucked. It was ecstasy and agony rolled into the same package. My back arched, curving up off the ground to allow me to roll my hips, offering Logan even more. 

His groan of satisfaction echoed off the cavern walls and he levered himself up, stripping off his jeans as he did. In one motion, he clamped his hands on my hips and buried the entire length of his cock inside me. The move set off an explosion within me and he stopped to feel my muscles vise tightly around him. The punch of orgasm was sudden and harsh, doing nothing but leaving me wanting more. 

God.

So much more.

Feeling my hold on him relax as the orgasm abated, he moved his hands around to the back of my thighs, so that his fingers wrapped around my knees for support. He opened me as wide as my legs would allow and began moving his hips. The position allowed me to feel each and every inch of him moving in and out of me. Allowed me to singularly focus on the sensation of our slick flesh sliding together in an intoxicating rhythm. One that he varied so that I never knew just what to expect. 

My eyes closed as the sensations grew so intense I couldn’t fight against them any longer. Every muscle in my body seemed to go rigid at once, contracting tightly and forcing a ragged cry from my throat. The noise only seemed to fuel Logan more instead of deter him and he finally set a steady pace. I easily matched it, grinding myself against him and wanting everything he had to offer right this very moment. 

His fingers clenched around my knees as his body went rigid and his voice roared off the rock walls around us. The intense heat as he erupted inside me set off my own release. This time the orgasm was hard and pulsating, possessing a life all its own as it radiated out from where we were joined. There was nothing quick about this one as it seemed to fire off a series of releases that layered over one another, carrying me higher than I had ever been before. When I found the slick edge of completion and prepared to slide down the back side of the orgasm that had left me overflowing with the delicious sensation of fulfillment, Logan surprised me by moving again. Even through the swollen muscles, heavy with satisfaction, I realized he was still rock hard. 

My eyes flew open in surprise and there was that smile I had grown to appreciate in a very short amount of time. 

“You didn’t think I was actually done with you, did you?” His voice was thick with emotion and even though his chest moved rapidly for breath after the exertion, there was a surety to his words. 

With a smile of my own, I extended a hand out for him to take and he pulled me up so that I was sitting in his lap, our bodies still joined. I expected him to keep me there, but instead he surprised me by lowering us both back down to the ground, this time his full weight settled on top of me. 

It was comforting in a way, his mouth on mine, skin slicked with sweat pressing together as we lay twined around each other. His movements this time were slow and precise. Exact in duration and he seemed to be taking great care to draw out of me just as slowly as he entered. The sensation was exquisite and I basked in it, unabashedly enjoying these moments with him, these feelings and sensations he was pulling from somewhere inside of me. It was such a complete difference from his actions only moments ago that I couldn’t help but appreciate his expertise. How one moment he could be wild and uncaged and then the next tender and achingly deliberate with each slow thrust of his hips. 

He coaxed the next crest from me, cradling me in his arms as he kissed me slowly and deeply. I sighed against his mouth as every muscle in my body sang in response, as every nerve inside of me ignited in a deliciously slow burn. His voice gave a slight hitch from his throat as his body released as well and we both slowly descended down from the high he had lifted us to. 

The rest of the night was much the same; a contradiction of a man that I had thought I knew everything about. After a time, I stopped being surprised by what we both wanted and needed. How we seemed to know what each other desired at just the right time. 

Instead, I simply enjoyed him and everything that he was because with him, there was no more darkness.

For the night, Devil's Bliss was ours.


End file.
